all out

This is a writing i wrote a couple weeks ago. It started out as a prayer so i guess it's a prayer/personal psalm. I think i already mentioned that a couple weeks ago was a rough spot cause of some personal issues i had to deal with at home and basically this writing is how i'm desperate for more of God in my life and his guidance even when i have a hard time "feeling" Him or understanding His grace. I don't think i'm quite done writing this one though so it'll probably be added onto a bit..

God
bring me closer to You
let me feel Your presence always
let me understand just how amazing
Your grace is
I already know the costs of my sins
and the shame that comes with it
but let me always be in awe
of Your salvation for us
show me Your love
show me Your blessings
so i can even get a glimpse of Your glory
let me understand why they call You savior
show me why You are called shepherd
my God i'd die for You
whether You would acknowledge me or not
because You and only You deserve that glory
when i proclaim your grace
let Your Spirit fill me with the words to say
fill me with Your love
make me illuminate in the darkness
light up the paths of sorrow
to lead to everlasting life with You
Lord i give You praise forever

first lyrics

i had a hard time picking a good first one to put up...ultimately i decided on this one cause...i have no idea haha. i think it's one of the better ones i've written, i'm not a great writer but it's nice getting stuff out...

My soul longs for you
I will glorify
my flesh is dead to me
and now I'm alive
I was lost in this sickness
that was killing me recklessly and mercilessly
the knowledge that brought me sorrow
knowing that we're nothing
but a breath of wind passing by
now I have purpose
something worth living for
all eyes upon you
I will worship you
all these bricks and frames
will fall and burn
and every second of the day
goes wasted somewhere
so what's the point
but to spend it all on something
something worth dying for
every second I live
I will glorify you
everything I do is for no one
but you

i wrote this i think right before i left for arizona, at the time i was anxious to leave and just escape from everything, i'm glad i went to arizona and got to see family for once but i think i did it for the wrong reasons. i thought going there would be a new start and a way to "live life right" and i blamed this place on my shortcomings. now i look back and realize that it doesn't matter where i live, i should be on fire for God anyways. location does not matter, that's a big i learned soon after i got home and things have happened that changed a lot of things in my life, and ever since then i've been burning brighter than i ever have, though the last week and a half have been really tough cause of personal issues and whatnot i'm still going stronger than ever and there's still tons of rooms for me to better that's for sure..

first entry...

I used to hold back a lot on who I am and just play quiet and not really let people really get to know me outside of generals about me. Most of the stuff i write about on here will more than likely be stuff about my faith and what's going on in life and how I'm dealing with it. I used to talk a lot of politics but don't count on me writing about it at all. Oh and I tend to say a ton of stupid things...and I mean stupid lol i should do stand up with all the dumb things I say. A lot has happened since I got home from Arizona that made me start trying harder to live on fire for God, and I can say that I've been better than ever but there is definitely room for improvement. I used to write a lot of songs about life and how it ties into faith/religion and the things I struggled with so it will help me kind of get it out instead of being this secretive person. I hope people actually read this once in a blue moon so we'll see haha. I'm gonna mostly post older stuff I wrote and kind of reflect on it I guess. I haven't written much in the last few months but I'm kind of trying to start again, I don't plan on doing music or anything but it's a nice way to get thoughts out I guess. Let me know what you think!