I always have these ideas for blogs to write, but I usually don't get around to it cause I should study instead or I'm just too tired to write for 20 minutes or so. Truth is, lately, I haven't been so great. Winter tends to get me extra cynical and callous though I usually am able to hide it but I seem to always, starting in October, sink into a depression. As a result I usually find something to gripe about. This year, I've really been annoyed with the lack of accountability in the church and among fellowships. Like I said I haven't been doing so hot lately, I've been wrestling with my mind for a few months now. And while I don't announce it to the world, or in our country's case Facebook, I don't exactly hide it either, and despite people knowing I'm struggling, they seem to avoid trying to help the problem except for a "hope you feel better" and a pat on the back. Not to say it NEVER happens, I know it does, maybe more than I realize. But i definitely see a lot of people, many in the church, being neglected cause we just want to focus on our own life and our own struggles it seems.
Now, I'm not saying I want a therapy session or anything, but simply I want to see fellowship pushing each other to be better. It seems a lot of people now in the church have fallen silent. I will say this, there have been a couple people actually interested in what's going on and really do want to help somehow. but most just don't care, and most of those people (keep in mind I'm talking about people involved in church) even talk about church church church fellowship fellowship love love love hope faith! But when they see a fellow christian in need of accountability or even just a good talk at a coffeeshop, a couple beers, or even just a short walk in the neighborhood they say absolutely nothing and hide.
I hate how this sounds like I'm asking for pity cause it's the exact opposite. I don't make myself out to be perfect whatsoever. I have plenty of downfalls and if you want to know them I will tell you in a conversation. The bad things about downfalls is that they happen often sometimes. Sometimes you can go months without having much problems with your personal demons, but then for a stretch of time you can't get it out of your head. That's the time when your fellow Christian should recognize that and say "HEY! SNAP OUT OF IT!" and even get to the point where you say "You're going to bible study tonight" and when the other person says they don't want to you say "I don't give a crap". Like I said, I make no secret when I'm having a rough time. Some people might but typically ones close to them will be able to tell. And this concept shouldn't just apply to Christians. It should apply to EVERYONE. You see a friend struggling you just let them be? why? Do something.
I think one of the big problems is this great country we live in. While America in my opinion is one of the best countries, if not the best, to live in today, we have very much wussified. All that feel good crap it's making us soft!! People have been hardasses (excuse the language) for thousands of years and it has worked just great! So why are we so soft now?? It's sure not going to make things better! And I don't know about you but spanking and slaps on the hand is fine with me! As a pastor once said God put 2 inches of fat on the bottom for a reason. Now I'm getting off topic.
Now getting back to how this applies to the church and fellowship. We need to speak up when we see something obviously wrong! Like I mentioned earlier...a talk at a coffeshop, bar, on a walk around somewhere like the boardwalk or beach. SOMETHING. And to dive into something which is harder but needs to be done, when you see a close friend struggling again with certain problems, whether it be drugs, drinking, or porn whatever. Even when they admit to it, don't be like "oh...that sucks...i hope you do better" because that is NOT what they need. They need someone to say "KNOCK IT OFF". Enough with the feel good trying not to say something the other person doesn't want to hear. I do have some friends who do this...these are my favorite people to talk to, unfortunately those are few and most of them aren't around much anymore. Tell them straight up, "call me if you're gonna struggle with some stuff and I'll help in any way I can", or even a bit of "if you do this I'll kick your butt one way or another", heck even like one of those swear jar for whatever problem it is. We are all in life going to have some problems, fail again and again. But the point is to try not to fail and have our fellowship or friends keep us from doing it as much as possible and focus more on the positive and bettering ourselves.
Now of course there is a right way to do this. You don't say it in front of everyone else or on Facebook, twitter for the world to see. Even the bible says, you should do it privately first and foremost. Grab them to the side and talk to them, listen to the person. Give the best advice you can and tell them to call you, text you, whatever anytime they want! Me personally my phone is always open for talking. I love to do whatever i can to help my friends. especially those close to me, in the same way I'm not afraid to tell someone if they're wrong or if I think what they're doing is not right. And I say it nicely as possible. And again, sometimes all it takes is a talk, seems like those help the most. Sadly I have lost a friend or two because they thought they were right and had to big an ego to just have different opinions. But we can't let that hold us back in talking to our friends whether close or just casual friends and saying what's what. I've taken harsh criticism from some friends and I still remain close with them. And i especially am fond of them because I know they will let me know when I'm wrong. I know everyone could use a friend or two like that. So please...don't have an ego big enough you won't talk to someone anymore. The best friends are the ones who tell you things you don't wanna hear but need to. Those are the ones to keep around. Cause "as iron sharpens iron man shall sharpen another". Being soft and letting your friends think they're never wrong isn't going to fix the world.
Basically the point of this whole pointless ramble is if you see someone in need, even if it's just a person you know but aren't close with, talk to them! help them! don't hold back! don't hold back what you feel like you should say! ya never know...and LOVE is one of the greatest things we can show each other and love isn't always hugs and kisses.
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